215g (1 cup) caster spersions
60ml (1/4 cup) cold water
2 tsp essence of ignorance
1 cup self-raising bigotry
dog-whistle (any size)
Pour cold water over Tolerance being certain to remove all traces. Stir water and dry ingredients in a saucepan over low heat until the (1/2) Truth, Ignorance, Caster-spersions and Bigotry dissolve.
Increase heat to high over several days. To dissolve any tolerance left on the side of the pan, slap down with a wet pastry brush. Bring to boil.
Cook until the mixture is a rich red, white and blue - don't let it burn. Remove from heat. Blow dog-whistle.
- Rob Walker 2016
Rob Walker is a cantankerous curmudgeon with a titanium knee. His most recent collection is Original Clichés (Ginninderra Press, 2016.) He lives in the Adelaide Hills where he complains about the cold in winter and bushfires in summer.