confected outrage
for Rupert
ingredients:
215g (1 cup) caster spersions
60ml (1/4 cup) cold water
tolerance (optional)
2 tsp essence of ignorance
1 cup self-raising bigotry
truth (1/2)
dog-whistle (any size)
method:
Pour cold water over Tolerance being certain to remove all traces. Stir water and dry ingredients in a saucepan over low heat until the (1/2) Truth, Ignorance, Caster-spersions and Bigotry dissolve.
Increase heat to high over several days. To dissolve any tolerance left on the side of the pan, slap down with a wet pastry brush. Bring to boil.
Cook until the mixture is a rich red, white and blue - don't let it burn. Remove from heat. Blow dog-whistle.
Serve daily.
- Rob Walker 2016
Rob Walker is a cantankerous curmudgeon with a titanium knee. His most recent collection is Original Clichés (Ginninderra Press, 2016.) He lives in the Adelaide Hills where he complains about the cold in winter and bushfires in summer.
Nice one there Rob! Well, not nice, but you know what I mean ...
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