Estrangement
In a blocked atmosphere
away from people — at Donnybrook,
all the gates are closed on us.
Everybody is hopeless with broken hearts.
On a cold spiritless day
in a small gloomy room,
l sit on my bed
as my mind travels back to the past...
When l become aware of my surroundings again
l find nine years has passed uselessly in detention.
My body is feeble and tired.
When l try to focus,
to witness all of these tragedies,
it feels as if I’ve grown into a flower, mute from fear.
It seems that they have separated the world's pains.
What do they know about the things
that happened throughout these years?
They blamed us for all the bad things of the world!
I am tired of this bunch of stone-cold people
who rejoice at seeing us suffer.
My God, l am abandoned all alone here.
l have no parent or sibling to console me.
It makes no difference if I write about my agony —
no one has suffered as much as me in estrangement.
My heat is infested with sorrow.
l feel that I need to cry.
l feel that l need my mother’s hug.
I’d love to lay my head on her knees
as she touches my face tenderly.
l'd love to hug my mum again one day
and tell here about the tragedy of these years.
Mum, what should l do with my pains and sorrows?
But my mother has already passed away
from grief after hearing about them —
What reason have l got to go on now?
Who should I live for now?
The dearest person in the world to me
was my mother who passed away.
Mum, I wish l could die instead of you.
That way, l would not have to face
the sorrow of our estrangement.
- © Mohammad Ali Maleki 2022
Mohammad Ali Maleki is an Iranian poet who has been indefinitely detained as a refugee in Australian immigration detention for the last nine years. His poetry chapbook, Truth in the Cage, is available for purchase at Verity La’s online bookshop. All profits go directly to the author.
Direct and poignant verses from a broken man. It was his incarceration that brought the poet in him to the surface. But it was also a curse and an unforgivable crime
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