Out of Mind
so focused
on the fifth anniversary
creeping up
since the fourth
driving the road
beside the river
swinging the bends
outlining the solid sandstone
surmounted with tall trees
draped with runnels of water
it’s only as I turn
into the entrance
of the Gardens
that I’m shocked to remember
I have three
immediate family members here
I blink the sting
my mind saturated
brimming with only one
I turn into the ‘Bushland’ section
of native plants and trees –
though he loved roses
that section was crammed
cheek by jowl
with no space
to sit and contemplate
the manager drove me
to different sections
across the grass
and ‘Bushland’ screamed
your name
on the boundary
of the grounds
black cockatoos
glide the sky
corkscrew-banksias
ugly-nice
rock orchids
bursting orgasms
of bloom
niches were available
in the tier named ‘Eucalypt’
I bought one
then returned to buy
the vacant one next-door
I showed him photos
when he wanted
showed him
my next-door niche –
I’ll be there
I’m coming too
but this day,
this fifth anniversary,
I’d forgotten
it was only as I made to leave
that I remembered
(I should have cleaned out
the dead leaves)
how could I have shock-forgot?
the Sheltie and I
returned to the car
strapped in
looked back at all
the new plots
invading the lawns
people just keep dying
left onto the main circuit
I feel I should stop
for Dad and Pam
but I can’t be bothered
I was out of my mind
about you
- © Erina Booker 2023
Erina Booker is a Sydney-based poet. She has published nine collections of her work, and contributes to journals and anthologies, internationally, nationally, and online. She enjoys giving recitals, seminars, and judging competitions. Erina has a Major in Literature within her Bachelor of Arts degree, and a Postgraduate Degree in Counselling. She knows the value of words and the pauses between them.
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