Till the Wind calls the Sea
(The Twelve Stations of the Grief)
The first four months
To know love
is to not have love.
I can’t feel anything:
hunger for food
thirst for drink
tired for sleeping
one foot step to the next
one after the other
how do you live
without your lover’s
breath on your skin?
You live waiting for the veil to lift
for the wave to stop crashing
for the window to stop opening
for this mad mantra
these tumbling
thoughts one
after each other
to last
longer
The second four months
I don’t hear
your name anymore
I call it out
CASSANDRA
three times I call
I can hear it again
it sounds so good
I run to it
I try to hold it
to touch it
to smell it
to taste it
to eat it
to sleep
with it
What else
am I meant to do
with this
elegiac
silence
I call your name
again and again
Into the
fucking
elegiac air
time wins
time always
wins
it cant find
land anywhere
the air is too solid
CASSANDRA
has been
atomised
more months pass
Ghosts are thoughts
thoughts are ghosts
dreams are real
you visit four times
I say its ok
my succubus
you can stay
you say no
you whisper
I have to go
the wind calls
the sea
You point to the light
from across the river
the light that lasts longer
than the oldest tree
that’s where
I’ll be waiting
for you
where the wind
calls the sea
This twelfth month
Everyone loves Yoko now
just another cycling thought
I peddle into Sydney park
carving layers from the
peppery skin of my grief
Under a big blue blanket sky
in the pretty city
I scratch this self awake
it is time to live again
Peddling my thoughts
into Sydney park
that’s a big hill
up to the skate bowl
I wish my wish
could be here
where the dogs
run free
chasing poems
with me
Till the wind
calls the sea
- © Tony Hughes 2021
Tony Hughes is an Australian actor and singer. As an actor, he starred in The Lost Islands (1976), Chopper Squad (1977–1979) and the film adaptation of Puberty Blues (1981). As a singer he has fronted Bellydance and King Tide. (Courtesy of Wikipedia). Cassanadra Woodburne, the CASSANDRA of this poem, was Toný's life partner and best friend and mother to their two wonderful children, Georgia and Eddy. She passed away on 22nd November 2020 after a long and courageous struggle with cancer. The photo was taken at Era Beach where Cassandra's parents own a shack.
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